She’s sleeping with another man
I had a VERY tough conversation with a friend recently.
There's a big life lesson you can take from it (maybe several).
That lesson will help you in your current relationship...
Or the next one you are in, if you are open to dating.
It all links into...
The launch of the Whole Man Membership.
We'll come to that towards the end...
But let me ask you this first:
Have you ever been cheated on?
I have, many years ago, by a previous partner.
It hurt so much that I was in complete shock for a few days.
I was sad, angry, pissed off...
Numb, embarrassed, and I couldn't focus on anything else.
I wanted her to hurt as well...
But I really just wanted her back.
I wanted to punch him in the face...
But also block him out of my mind.
It made me feel sick in the deepest parts of my stomach.
It was a really fucked up situation.
All consuming for a while.
So I understand where my mate is coming from.
A lot of us guys have experienced it at some point or another.
And...
There's something deeply upsetting about finding out...
The one you love has been spending time with another man.
Even worse to find out they have been shagging them.
Especially if you have been together a long time.
Anyway...
My friend sent me a message...
Here's a screenshot of part of it...
Now, if you ever get a message like this from anyone...
Drop everything and call them immediately.
Because, you have no idea what state of mind they are in.
And as we know, guys will sadly do stupid things when they are desperate.
So, I make the call (video call).
It won't be a surprise to hear that he looked like shit.
Clearly hungover.
Eyes reds.
Can barely see his face as the room is so dark.
He's in the pit.
He's in the shit.
I ask him to do two things before we get started:
1) Open the curtains (it was early morning and he needed to let the sunlight in).
2) Take a few deep breaths.
Amazingly, his mood (physiology) improved a bit just by doing those simple things.
'Now, tell me' I said calmly...
'What's going on, mate?'
'She's been fucking someone else.'
Hmm...
That was his opening line...
I could feel the despair and anger in those five words...
This had cut him deep.
I knew we had a BIG problem.
Especially as they have been together for 3-4 years.
So it's not like some new relationship that was just finding its feet.
We don't need to go into all the details but...
Here's the thing...
They had been living apart for work reasons for 7 months.
Over 215 days...
On different sides of the world, to be exact.
And they had another 2 months to go until they were living back together.
Yes, they had been on a few short holidays together to spend time.
And they both were building the life they wanted, together (allegedly).
But... as the saying goes...
Proximity is power.
Now, let's be clear...
Just because you are living apart for 6-8 months doesn't make it Ok to go and shag someone else.
But... if you are living apart from your partner...
There is NO WAY you can be giving them all they need in a relationship.
And you have to be VERY careful they won't fill their needs and desires...
With someone who can.
But, you might be reading this and thinking...
My relationship is fine, because we live together.
That's great, but ask yourself this...
Am I distant from my partner even though we live together?
What I mean by that is...
Are you showing up as the man you want to be?
Are you making an effort?
Do you do things without asking?
Do you surprise her with gifts or tokens of affection or appreciation?
Are you making sure you stay fit, healthy and strong?
Are you taking care of yourself?
And the biggest one of all...
Would you want to date YOU?
Here's the thing...
I'm the first to admit I could do better in my relationship.
Nobody is perfect.
But I recall listening to a relationship podcast many years ago...
And the guy said this...
'Even if you think you are doing great...
What's one thing you could improve in your relationship?'
For example, with me...
I know Emma gets sick of cooking breakfast, lunch, and dinner all the time...
And she'd love for me to cook dinner once a week.
In January I promised I would cook every Friday or Saturday night.
But in truth, I've managed maybe 2 nights this year.
That's a shit effort if ever I saw it.
Pathetic even.
So I need to do better.
But, getting back to my friend and his situation.
He was much brighter when we ended the call.
Thankfully he just needed to talk things through with someone.
A guy who is going to listen...
And offer some simple suggestions if he wants them.
Here's the interesting thing...
We mentioned above that proximity is power in a relationship.
It's the same with regularly getting around the right guys who want you to WIN.
And can offer advice, wisdom, experience...
With suggestions to help you navigate whatever challenges you have.
I've actually pointed my friend in the direction of a man in my network who created some good content around relationships.
I know that's priceless...
Being able to discuss your challenges with other men...
And then getting powerful and helpful suggestions on how to move forward.
Even 4-5 little tips can make a big difference.
That can be from a mate or an Expert Insider who can help specifically with your issue.
So, on Wednesday I'll tell you exactly where I'm at with our idea to...
Create a strong network of men who want to lead an epic life.
No matter what your budget is...
No matter how busy you are...
No matter what your big dream is in life...
Or how stuck you think you are.
I want to help YOU make progress in your life...
To become the man you know you can be...
For you AND your family.
If you are reading this it means you will be one of the first men to see our idea as it goes live.
Here's the bit I'm excited about...
In a world that's gone 'Inclusivity' mad...
They'll be nothing inclusive about what we create.
Fuck that.
We'll limit membership to a specific type of man.
No tyre kickers...
No time wasters...
No men who say but don't 'do'.
No men who are happy living a PASSIVE life.
More on that to follow.
Catch you Wednesday.
And remember, the world needs strong men.
Anthony
Whole Man Academy
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